New Beginnings

Beginning again is hard.  Harder then most anyone around will give you credit for.  Begin again anyway.  It's worth it.

I'm starting over...beginning to rebuild a shattered life from scratch.  I'm choosing to move forward in spite of all the negative energy trying to pull me back into old patterns and ways of thinking.  I've changed, but many around me don't want to.  If they're going to continue being a part of my life, however, they'll have to change too.  I think it's some kind of universal law.  When we change others will have to change in relation to us.  Scary, right?  It's also refreshing and freeing.  We don't have to roll around in the same muck day after day.  We can get out and take a nice hot shower (or a cool one if, like me, you happen to be in the throws of menopause...).

I'm excited and terrified at the same time.  If your life is changing you'll probably feel the same.  Another universal law...we all have conflicting feelings...yuck! Yea!  We are alive. We are free.

The last four years have been a nightmare.  What started with an unfortunate car accident snowballed into a use and abuse of power by the jackasses I found myself surrounded by.  Men (mostly) more concerned about money then they were about helping me to pay my bills in a timely manner, and caring for myself and my then 14 year old daughter, Makenna.  This, however, is fodder for the book I'm currently writing entitled Starving To Death In America: A Survivors Story.

I have survived.  I've more than survived.  I'm living proof miracles do happen.  I'm grateful...I'm happy to be alive...I'm excited to move into my future unencumbered by the old, and surrounded by the new.

I only wish my beautiful daughter could understand...but that's another story...